Marlin Kreider Stoner

I was born on November 24, 1946, the sixth son of Grace Kreider and Joseph A. Stoner. Our only sister, Mary Ann, was the eldest child. Two brothers were born after me, but throughout my youth I was one of "the little boys" as I was never able to step up to the enviable rank of my big brothers.

My earliest memories focus around spending one month on my back in traction for a broken upper arm. Being forced to lie in bed in one position for 28 days when I was four and a half years old was truly a memorable experience. That month in a hospital, in addition to having a mother who was a nurse, naturally led me toward a lifelong interest in medical care.

Although growing up on a dairy farm, I never enjoyed farm work. While I never went through a period of wondering if I was adopted, I certainly did not feel at home doing farm labor. Thanks to hard-working brothers, I was often able to escape barn and field work by being Mother's helper, doing lawn care and doing custodial work for Morning Hour Sunday School (which later became Morning Hour Chapel).

Dissatisfaction with farm life led me to like school and eventually to choose to become a teacher. Two of the most important influences leading to my college major in history were a high school history teacher who loved his subject and our family's subscription to Time magazine. During my high school years I believe I spent more time reading Time than anyone else in our family.

At Messiah College, my experience of student teaching high school history taught me that while I enjoyed being a student, I did not enjoy being a teacher. Nevertheless, after graduation I did choose a Mennonite Central Committee service assignment at Woodlands School. It was a provincial residential institution for the mentally handicapped, located in New Westminster, British Columbia, Canada. Registered under Selective Service as a conscientious objector, I was able to serve under MCC for two years as an alternative to military service.

My assignment at Woodlands School began in June of 1969. Until academic classes started in September, I worked with the recreational therapy department. I assisted with the day camping program. Day camp was a summer highlight for children living in the institution. The caring staff of the recreation department was a pleasant introduction to Woodlands.

The start of the academic year was stressful. Unfortunately, the stress did not depart as I spent the winter working with small groups, teaching physical education and limited math and reading skills. I longed for the return of summer and the resumption of the camping program. This was a switch from growing-up years when I dreaded the end of school since it meant full-time life on the farm. However, here at Woodlands I could enjoy brightening the lives of children at day camp; and also British Columbian summers in New Westminster offered pleasant weather with few days of oppressive heat.

I survived my second academic school year at Woodlands. My service term was to end in June of 1971, but I requested permission to stay through summer until September. Once again summer in British Columbia was better than any summer I had spent in Pa.

Back home in September 1971, my sister-in-law Rosemary, suggested that I apply for work at The Brethren Home, a nursing home located at Cross Keys near New Oxford, Pa. The Home had immediate openings for nursing assistants, just as it has had through most days of the 27 years I have worked there. I was trained for a week by an experienced nursing assistant and began my duties. I found the physical labor of assisting elderly residents satisfying. There was some emotional stress watching them cope with pain along with physical and mental handicaps; yet I felt less distress than seeing children who had never had a normal life cope with mental and physical handicaps.

After a winter working in the nursing home, another Pa. summer loomed ahead. My recollections of summer camp in British Columbia led me to write to Woodlands School and offer my services for the summer. They agreed to provide room and board while I helped in the recreation department.

I traveled to Vancouver, British Columbia via Greyhound bus in 1972 and again the two following summers. The third summer at Woodlands Gold Creek Camp did not match the excitement and joy of past years. Changes which took place during the years after my return to Pa. convinced me that I could no longer serve well as a summer volunteer: the recreation department had new staff and programming, and the children whom I knew so well during my two years of teaching at their school had grown up.

Although I have grown apart from my service work at Woodlands, my love of the Vancouver area has not diminished. New Westminster, British Columbia, remains to this day my second home community. I have returned there on summer vacations most years, thanks to low-cost travel on the Greyhound Bus Lines.

Beside my choice of a constant vacation destination, another unique choice in my life has been the decision to live without owning a car. Through my years of high school, college, and my first year working at the Brethren Home, I depended on the use of a car borrowed from my father. In Canada I lived for two years without access to a car. I found life satisfying without the ease of having a car readily available. Working in New Oxford, I found a room to rent within walking distance of the Brethren Home. Eventually I moved up from a rented room to a small apartment which has been my home for 22 years. Living without a car means that I have had more than average walking, hitch-hiking, and bus-riding. I prefer any of these three activities to driving a car.

Looking back, I would say that the most enriching moments of my life have been the times spent with children as "uncle" or "friend". Being a bachelor, I never had the big job of parenting, but I have sought to pay back the happiness I experienced as a child when older brothers and sister, relatives or friends saw fit to spend time with me. Because I belonged to the "Stoner clan", I had a path blazed for me in school, where upperclassmen took note of me because I was someone's younger brother.

Especially meaningful was the fact that I knew college students from the time I was 8- years-old and sister Mary Ann was a student at Messiah College. We attended Sunday evening services at Grantham Brethren in Christ Church, meeting in the College chapel. Also, Messiah College gospel teams would often serve the Morning Hour Sunday School and then stay at our home for dinner. It was a great boost to my self-esteem to have a college student talk and play with me.

Aunt Grace Stoner Lady strongly influenced my life, causing me to feel loved and important, by paying attention to me as a young child and inviting me to visit at her home overnight. These riches I received as a child I have attempted to pass on---by spending time with children of close friends in New Oxford, and with nieces, nephews, grand nieces and grandnephews.